"No
human being with blood flowing in his veins is incapable of loving."
I
have come to embrace the profound truth of this statement, after years of
vowing to shield myself from the messy and tumultuous waters of romantic
relationships. As a person who values friendships irrespective of gender or
creed, I attribute this disposition to my formative years in secondary school.
During my college days, my network of friends expanded, fuelled by my academic
prowess. It was during this time that I forged a particularly strong bond with
Kwaghta Angbiandoo, my closest female friend. Despite the closeness of our
relationship, we both knew that it was purely platonic.
The
genesis of my story can be traced back to November 2008, when we were nearing
the completion of our second-semester exams in NCE 1. It was also during this
period that a new batch of students gained admission to our institution.
Angbiandoo mentioned to me that she was assisting a friend with the admission
process, but I paid little attention to it at the time. However, something
caught my interest—the unwavering trust this friend placed in Angbiandoo,
entrusting her with money for registration without questioning its use. It was
evident that she must have been a person of great integrity to inspire such
trust. And so, my curiosity was piqued.
One
day, as Angbiandoo returned from another registration task, she brought a file
containing a stack of documents. Among them was a passport photograph that captivated
me. The girl in the picture exuded an enchanting beauty that drew me in.
Strangely enough, I found myself interested in her, despite not having known
her personally. Her name was Mlumun Jessica Ikyongu.
Destiny,
it seems, had its own plans for us. Eventually, I had the opportunity to meet
Jessica in person during one of my frequent visits to Angbiandoo's place. She
had come to check on the progress of her admission process. As I found myself
in a room filled with a small group of people, I was rendered momentarily
breathless by her incomparable beauty. I sat there, speechless, stealing
glances at this extraordinary being. The soft spot I developed for her grew
more intense, and for the first time in my life, I found myself falling in
love. However, I couldn't ignore the glaring truth that she seemed out of my
league, surpassing me in every aspect. This realization only intensified my
internal turmoil. Unable to bear the ache in my head any longer, I left for my
apartment, grappling with my conflicting emotions.
In
2009, we returned for a new session, and coincidentally, Jessica became
Angbiandoo's neighbour. As I continued my visits to Angbiandoo's place, my
interactions with Jessica became more frequent and intimate. It was revealed to
me that Jessica "liked" me, which made my heart skip a beat. However,
it was clarified that her liking was limited to a platonic fondness for me as a
person, devoid of any romantic attachment. Nevertheless, I held onto the hope
that with time, the "i" in her liking would transform into an
"o," and the "k" would change to a "v." And so,
we embarked on a friendship, hoping that it would eventually blossom into
something more. Often, I would visit her solely to feast my eyes on her
captivating beauty, sitting in silence for minutes on end while she would ask
with a charming smile, "What is it?" But my fear prevented me from
uttering the words I longed to express.
Our
friendship flourished beyond my wildest expectations. Not a day went by without
us calling each other or spending time together. I reached a point where I
stopped cooking at my own apartment, as she took charge of determining the
meals I consumed and when I ate them. Whenever I arrived late, I would be met
with a barrage of questions: "What have you eaten?", "When was
your last meal?", "Where have you been?", "What have you
been doing?" Her caring nature extended to providing me with nourishment,
and I couldn't help but appreciate her not only for her beauty but also for her
boundless love and kindness.
As
my feelings for Jessica grew, I began to envision a future where she would
become my wife. With her name, Jessica, and mine, Simon, I fantasized about our
wedding, which would bear the delightful combination of our names—JESSIMMY. It
became an emblem of my infatuation and a testament to the depth of my fantasy.
The
word "JESSIMMY" first appeared in a poem I penned in February 2009
titled "Dear Jessica." It was an epistolary expression of my
emotions, and my friend Joshua Jijingi described it as my best lyrical work. In
line 28 of the poem, the word emerged, celebrating the budding union of
JESSIMMY.
Although
our friendship couldn't withstand the test of time due to the vast disparity in
our social status, feelings, and circumstances, the JESSIMMY fantasy has remained
a part of me. It lingers in my heart, and I carry a sense of regret every day
that it wasn't granted the opportunity to flourish.
The
tale of JESSIMMY serves as a bittersweet reminder of the beauty and pain
inherent in unrequited love. It stands as a testament to the power of human
connection, even when circumstances conspire against its fruition. The memory
of JESSIMMY will forever be etched in my mind—a symbol of an unfulfilled
romance, yet a testament to the profound impact that love, even unrequited, can
have on our lives.
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